Prospective Superheroes

Tape Measure Man -

Watermelon Smile

Most uncomfortable Youtube...

Depression Christmas

murderhiking

Funniest thing I've seen in the past hour -

Doin' Dirt Is A Part Of Livin'

I skim off the top like a politician. 2 mash-ups using Dead Prez -





It surprises me that rap-rock sucked so bad cause some of my favorite remixes use indie rock as the beat. I haven't spent much time listening to it yet, but Blakroc (the guys from The Black Keys with rappers like Q-Tip, RZA, Raekwon, Mos Def...) might turn out to be an exception.

The Phoenix Suns All Night Long

It's impossible to hate the Suns.

David Simon Interview

Vice has a gigantic interview with David Simon up. It is fantastic and worth the 40 minutes you'll have to devote to read it. A lot of information I was unaware of with The Wire and his response to how people reacted to The Wire.

The Wire tried to imply—and I felt it being from Baltimore, and I think Baltimoreans felt it, but I’m not sure how well it conveyed for the rest of the country—the value of the city as the essential American experience. We’re an urban people. Eighty percent of us live in metro areas. I don’t buy the whole Republican convention with its small-town values and “We represent the real Americans.” I live in Baltimore. I’m concerned with big-city values and I live among real Americans. I could give a fuck about the other 20 percent of the country. I care about how we live together in cities. I think there were some people who watched The Wire and said to themselves, “You know, why don’t they just all move away? That city’s unredeemable.” We never felt that. I’m vested in Baltimore and I love it, just as I now spend part of my year in New Orleans and I’ve always loved New Orleans.

Oll Right

An Italian musician wrote this song in gibberish to sound like English -

See more funny videos and Music Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Where's Wallace?

Where's Wallace?!

Astronomically Accurate Ant-Size

Feel it.

A Star Wars Man

Alyssa Rosenberg has a nice response to a weird article by Wesley Morris in the Boston Herald. Morris is dredging up the tired argument that Hollywood has a representational void of the American brand of masculinity. Alyssa addresses the absurdities of the argument well -

He sees elements of it in everyone from Clark Gable to Clint Eastwood, and complains that it, whatever it is, is lacking in younger men of today. If he had a firm definition to work from, it might be possible to make that exclusion definitively. But Gable and Eastwood are really only two points on a continuum, and not even definitive end points of it...But just because we've moved beyond once kind of dominant performance for men doesn't mean a total loss: if you lose one kind of role, but gain many others, I think that's probably a net benefit for male actors across the board.

Morris sees the beginning of the end for the Gable-era masculinity with the popularization of the Method form of acting, which doesn't make much sense at all. I can't be certain at all, but were people complaining about the loss of real men in Hollywood when Paul Newman and Marlon Brando and Al Pacino were the leading men? Instead, I think, like most things in my lifetime, the argument can be traced back to Star Wars. As Chuck Klosterman put it -

Studied objectively, Luke Skywalker was not very cool. But for kids who saw Empire, Luke was The Man. He was the guy who we wanted to be. Retrospectively, we'd like to claim Han Solo was the single-most desirable character - and he was, in theory. But Solo's brand of badass cool is something you can't understand until you're old enough to realize that being an arrogant jerk is an attractive male quality.

But the argument that the new generation of American male actors was not masculine enough, at least in my lifetime, I think started with Titanic and Star Wars: Attack of the Clones. You could try, like Morris, to validate your argument by couching it in historical comparisons, but a more defensible argument would be to say that Kate Winslet looked too old for DiCaprio, and that turning Darth Vader into a whiny brat and casting Hayden Christensen were two decisions that even my 13-year old self knew was completely wrong. And so, when all those kids who grew up wanting to be Luke Skywalker realized that Han Solo was the cooler character (and the only one with a chance at getting the girl) they were forced to watch the single most evil character of the trilogy turn into Luke Skywalker Sr. It might even lead people to speak in rhetorical circles trying to argue the lack of stoically cool male characters years after the fact - and especially whenever DiCaprio has another movie coming out like The Aviator where his youthfulness can be a distraction - when there is no such crisis at all.

Griffy & Valentine II

I posted this picture of my grandmother's and aunt's dogs back in October and since then they've both passed away. Griffey, the golden one, was on his way out for awhile. Valentine, though, was only 7 when a tumor was discovered in her mouth on Monday. Valentine's health deteriorated way too quickly. We had just gotten her to jump through a hula hoop. Last month I had her jumping in the air 15 times in a row before a cookie reward. She got real tired over the past couple weeks, and couldn't coax much more than a tail-wag on the suggestion of a walk. I thought it was surprising, and a good sign, that on Tuesday she gave a poodle jump before a walk, but apparently it was just a last hurrah. She had an appointment for a specialist today at 8:30 am, but she suffered two seizures yesterday and had to be put down.

Lakers + Refs > Bucks

Yo, that's a proof. Yahoo! discusses the heartbreaking 'loss' last night -

Ep. 486: Cry Foul from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo.

Brew Hoop does the necessary work in pointing out that the Bucks did, technically, miss many opportunities to put the best team in the NBA away, but that sort of mature view, placing the responsibility on the players, is just a bullshit fairy tale when you're playing against the Lakers at home. They don't need the help!

The Yahoo guys focus on the most egregiously bad call in the game, but there were many others. Just horribly officiated, but the Bucks hung in there and are still making this a very enjoyable season and making me glad that I decided to follow the NBA again. Here's Brew Hoop detailing the rest of the officiating -

The game officials (Joe Forte, Marc Davis, Phil Robinson) didn't wear Kobe jerseys themselves, but from start to finish they favored the Lakers. They were bad enough to make some calls that went in Milwaukee's favor too, but even if the score was tied after 48 minutes, nothing really evened out tonight.

The Lakers got the 50/50 calls, sure, but they also got 60-40 calls, 100/0 calls.

Just not good. The worst at the Bradley Center this season, and I've only missed a couple.

There are myriad specific instances, like when Bogut felt the slap heard 'round press row. No call. Or when Kobe got that and-one call on Bogut to bring the Lakers within one in overtime. You remember, the one when he may have traveled, may have charged, and definitely didn't get fouled.

"I don't think it was a foul on Bogut, or whoever they called the foul on. But he's (Bryant) a great player and he's going to get the benefit of the doubt," Charlie Bell said.

Nobody thought it was a foul on Bogut, except the onlybody who matters.

To make matters worse, Los Angeles felt entitled to get calls, you could see that, and despite the foul disparity in their favor, they still griped; both Ron Artest and Lamar Odom picked up technicals for dissent, and at (at least) one point Bryant gave the official the stare-down all the way down the court.

The refs were applauded a few times tonight. Sarcastically, by the crowd.

Forgetting Aaron Rodgers

The last couple of days has found Matt Taibbi's name pop-up over and over again on the blogs over his recent piece on the Rolling Stone piece he wrote about the ubiquitousness of the finance industry in Obama's White House. Unfortunately, it seems that everyone missed the other article Taibbi wrote in the December 10th issue of Rolling Stone. For some reason, it's not online (neither are any of his other sports articles) so I'll copy the important bit down, see if you spot the glaring omission -

But Favre not only hasn't made the big mistake, he's actually played like a Hall of Famer all season. The list of quarterbacks who can throw the deep out with regularity and challenge the whole field is really short - it's basically Tom Brady and Peyton Manning and Drew Brees, occasionally Philip Rivers. And Favre. And that's it.

Even Ben Roethlisberger, accuracy-wise, has been a mess this year compared with Favre. The supersophemores Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan both took big steps back. Jay Cutler has completely sucked balls. Eli Manning lately is playing he's got a giant tick sucking on his decision-making center. And Matt Schaub and Matt Hasselbeck are just guys.

I don't know if I should thank Taibbi for being able to write an entire article about Brett Favre without mentioning the Packers or if I should ignore him completely for failing to mention Rodgers' very good year and most obvious comparison point to Favre. Regardless, I'll double down on this -

There is a school of thought out there that Favre shouldn't get credit for any kind of feat this season because (a) he whined and schemed his way out of two different teams, the Packers and the Jets, and (b) he did so precisely to get himself to the Vikings, playing opposite an A-list defense and behind a monster offensive line, handing off to a snarling beast of a running back, Adrian Peterson, whose very name makes strong safeties everywhere shit their pants in terror...you'll hear people say that even JaMarcus Russell might look like an NFL quarterback on this current Vikings team.

I do feel protective towards Aaron Rodgers, though, against the criticisms of Wisconsinites who can't divorce themselves from Favre and against the national narrative that seems to view him as the kid sitting alone on draft day, the kid sitting on the bench for 2 years, and then the kid who, having usurped the QB throne as Favre whined about loyalty, has to be compared to the predecessor's myth. Despite the 6-10 record he played well last year, better than Favre, but because Favre had that 6 touchdown game early in the year it seemed every week brought a new lamentation that Thompson backed the wrong QB.

Now this year, Rodgers is having a fantastic season, basically carrying the offense despite a weak line, but Favre took his revenge in the 2 regular season games, which feels like the only thing that matters. It's obvious the Vikings are the better team, but I'm still hoping for the Packers to run into them in the playoffs. Regardless of whether the Packers win or not, or whether Rodgers has a good game or not, or whether Favre continues to tear my soul from my body, this story isn't over. As TNC put it regarding Vince Young -

Likewise, for Vince Young, but even more. That drive yesterday is why I watch football. For people who think it's only about the hits, I'd show them this. There's something almost super-biographical about it. I called football a narrative earlier this year, and maybe that's not quite right. Myth, maybe? Watching a guy go from the bottom, watching him come back better at his job, and then, against incomparable odds, arrive at a moment where it all depended on a choice, is resonant. (Especially when, like me, you've spent a good part of your life considering yourself a fuck-up.)

The ending I want to see is Rodgers destroying the Vikings and Favre throwing a pick to Woodson to end the game, but if Rodgers and the Packers lose to Favre in the playoffs it'd be devastating in a way that matters. In a way that would alter the lens people viewed them with. And I'd continue to back Rodgers.

deep thought for the day

I‘m interested in how people personally decide to refuse a technology. I’m interested in that process, because I think that will happen more and more as the number of technologies keep increasing. The only way we can sort our identity is by not using technology. We’re used to be that you define yourself by what you use now. You define yourself by what you don’t use

- The Technium

I've got 7 pages to write in the next 5 hours.

playground revolution

Jonah Keri makes the case to get rid of traditional pick-up basketball scoring -

This is the problem plaguing pickup hoops. In nearly every pickup game I’ve played for the past 10 years, the scoring system has been the same: 1 point for a basket, 2 points if it’s a shot from beyond the three-point line, game to 11....

There’s a simple solution to this problem. Make field goals worth 2 points, and 3-point field goals worth (gasp) 3 points! Game to 21. Play goes just as quickly, you’re still rewarded for superior shooting range, and everyone else can get back to playing a normal game.

Math is tough - I suggest one point for everything.

Also, American Pie Presents: Beta House is quite possibly the most offensive movie I've ever seen, but I think I'm missing half the story by seeing the television version as opposed to the unrated one.

Holla at ya later, Kendall

The Royals could be one of the first teams to enter The Tyson Zone, as they continue their 5-year rebuilding plan into the next decade by signing Jason Kendall for 2 years and $6 million.

there's something about lois

I think that it is a sign of my increasing maturity that I'd take Lois over both Betty and Veronica (Betty > Cheryl Blossom > Veronica, btw)

The most annoying laugh

Colbert interviews the guy who does Conservapedia:

Checkpoint deterrence

Neenah is debating over whether or not to have drunk driving checkpoints -

As motorists approach a checkpoint, they would have the option to pull into the right lane to stop or take the left lane to drive through without interference.

Motorists who stop would be asked a few questions while officers activate passive alcohol sensors that test the driver's breath alcohol while he or she is talking.

If officers notice no sign of impairment, they will hand out educational pamphlets and send the driver on his or her way. If officers notice a sign of impairment, they will tell the driver that he or she now is being lawfully detained, consistent with a normal traffic stop.

Neenah resident Bob Lace initially thought Wilkinson's idea was ludicrous.

"I can't visualize anybody volunteering to go through (the checkpoint), even for a coupon," he said. "You are not going to get any drunks going through unless they are absolutely stoned."

I always assumed that with checkpoints you were forced to pull over if the cops wanted to see if you were wasted, but I guess I was mistaken. I think it would still work to deter drunk drivers, as Lace understands, since people who choose to skip the the checkpoint would be potentially monitored by the cops for impairment. You'd also have the deterrent effect, in the sense that people who go out drinking and know they have to pass a checkpoint later in the evening will be more likely to plan ahead and either not drink as much or get a sober driver. The large-scale deterrence might do a better job of curbing drunk driving then the suggestion of beefing up roving patrols. The strength of the checkpoints come from the visibility and certainty of the program. Of course, police might be able to get the same returns from just publicizing that the police are going to crack down on drunk driving for a certain amount of time -

"More than 300 Wisconsin law enforcement agencies will be on the hunt for OWI offenders beginning Friday, Aug. 21. This is part of a nationwide "Drunk Driving. Over the Limit. Under Arrest" crackdown on drunk drivers that will run through Labor Day.

Drunk driving is a big problem in Wisconsin. Last year, approximately 37,000 Wisconsin drivers were convicted of drunk driving. Alcohol-related crashes in Wisconsin killed 234 people and injured 4,319 last year alone, according to the Wisconsin Department of Transportation."

Regardless, it's safe to say that these responses to drunk driving will continue to be slaps on the wrists of offenders as long as the first 3 times you get caught drunk driving is misdemeanor.

The bill approved by the Senate mirrors the Assembly bill in many ways. Both would:

• Make a fourth offense a felony if it occurs within five years of a previous offense. Now, drunken driving isn't a felony until the fifth offense.

• Require ignition interlocks for all repeat drunken drivers and for first-time offenders with blood-alcohol levels of 0.15 or greater - nearly twice the legal limit for driving.

Ignition interlocks don't allow vehicles to start until drivers can show they don't have alcohol in their system by blowing into a device similar to a Breathalyzer.

• Make first-offense drunken driving a misdemeanor if a child younger than 16 is in the vehicle. Wisconsin is the only state to treat first offenses as traffic tickets, rather than crimes. The provision wouldn't affect punishments for those with two or more offenses if they were caught driving with a child in the vehicle.

• Expand statewide a Winnebago County program that gives judges the option of offering reduced jail time to offenders who complete alcohol or drug treatment. Backers say it saves money while reducing recidivism.

• Eliminate a provision that provides lighter penalties for those with a blood-alcohol level between 0.08 and 0.10, compared with those above 0.10. Those with lower blood-alcohol levels would face the same penalties as those of 0.10 or above.

Umbrellas for sexy days

Only 5% of high schools in the country distribute free condoms, and it looks like Milwaukee Public Schools could join them as the plan clears a committee to send it to the Milwaukee School Board, the JSOnline reports -

In MPS, about 63% of high school students - and more than a quarter of middle school students - are having sex, according to the latest data on youth sexual behavior collected by the district.

Kathleen Murphy, MPS health services coordinator, said sexually transmitted infections such as chlamydia, gonorrhea and, increasingly, HIV are afflicting high numbers of teenagers and young women.

Despite that, condom use among young people is on the decline, according to Murphy. Free or reduced-price contraception is available at many health clinics and other sites around the city, but Murphy said many students may not seek out those avenues because of inconvenience, embarrassment or cost.

In MPS, the condoms would be available only in high schools that have registered nurses, and the students would have to talk to a nurse before receiving a free condom.

My Juvenile Justice class discussed this on Monday, and it surprised me how many people were not only against the distribution of condoms but were offended by it. Arguments against the plan revolved around religion, abstinence, the proper role of schools in sex education, and the thought that schools would be promoting sex by giving students condoms. The JS actually does a pretty good job in answering these criticisms -

According to data the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a few months ago, Murphy said, the United States has the highest rate of sexually transmitted infection of any developed country, and African-American females 15 through 19 have the highest rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea.

Another recent CDC survey reported that one in four teen girls has had a sexually transmitted disease.

On the survey, which was administered to middle- and high-school students last spring, 63.1% of high schoolers reported having had sexual intercourse. When the survey was administered in 2003, just under 60% of students reported having had sex.

Reported condom usage among sexually active teenagers has changed significantly from 2003 to 2009, however. In 2003, 70.5% of sexually active students reported using a condom. In 2009, only 66.2% of high schoolers having sex said they were using a condom....

"We want our students to be abstinent," said Brett Fuller, a health curriculum specialist for MPS. "But when they make the choice (to have sex), they need to have the tools and understanding on how to protect themselves from sexually transmitted infections and to prevent unwanted pregnancies. That's why we have a comprehensive sex education program."...

"Most of the research that has been done in sexuality education has shown that it does increase the use of contraception, but not the rate of being sexually active," Wooley said.

It'll be interesting to see how this goes forward as abstinence education seems to have not done much to prevent kids from having sex. A story today in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune highlights a new study that shows that casual sex is not emotionally harmful for young adults. The study focused on 18-24 yr olds, but the take-away is important for educating any young person who could be sexually active -

"Casual sex is not for everyone" as an emotional matter, she said. Moreover, there is real physical risk: Rates of sexually transmitted diseases are rising relentlessly, and teen pregnancy rates in Minnesota are on the increase as well.

But, she said, sex education curriculums, parents and public health programs should "focus on the things that are real threats," such as interpersonal violence, pregnancy risk and STDs, not on the theory that casual sex is emotionally harmful.

Someone in class said one of the people involved in the MPS committee hearing compared the distribution of condoms to umbrellas in that buying an umbrella does not cause it to rain. I can also add, from personal experience, that getting condoms does not necessarily lead to having any sex.

How to get me to care about All-Star weekend

Step 1 - Get the exciting rookie point guard that plays on my team to participate in the 3-point contest

Step 2 - Have him compete against a chubby guy who looks like Ron Jeremy that doesn't actually play in the NBA



Bingo, you've got another viewer. How can you not cheer for Stan Van Gundy to win this?

I hope this catches on so next year we can see Lou Piniella finally participate in the home run derby.

I haven't been this excited for an exhibition basketball contest since MTV's Rock & Jock.

Grizzly Bear, Kitson

This fan-made video for "Two Weeks" by Grizzly Bear is amazing -



How I Met Your Mother used the song in last night's episode for a montage of the "Second Greatest Love Story" and I realized I should give the band a second chance after Yellow House bored me except for "On A Neck, On A Spit".

*Daniel Kitson, comedian, posted 2 shows on his website, which is exciting because good recordings of his stuff is impossible to find and he hasn't put out any comedy albums or videos despite being a winner of awards. All of his own accord -

Starting as a stand-up comedian at 16, he'd won a Perrier Award by the tender age of 24, along with several Fringe Firsts and a slew of international accolades.

But Kitson treats this information as if it's an embarrassing secret, the sort of thing you wouldn't want your mother to find under the mattress.

"It was unfair," says Kitson. "No-one asks you if you want to enter the Perrier Awards. Every step of the way, I was saying, I don't want to do a photo shoot, they make me itch, I find them upsetting. I don't want to do press. I don't want any of it."

In fact, the fewer people that turn up to his events, the better. "I'd really like to whittle my fan base down to about 12 – you can call them disciples if you like."

What marks this reticent star out from other shy celebrities, however, is the total control he has over his image. Acting as his own manager and publicist means that there's no one around to persuade him into that extra gig or that other interview. His website has one podcast on it, from 2005. Beside it is a note saying that he intends, eventually, to post more, maybe. It may suit Kitson down to the ground but the rest of us miss out on discovering the melancholy joy he brings to audiences with a combination of story telling, imagination, imagery and pathos.

Daniel Kitson video.

Endings

100 Best Last Lines From Novels

The title is misleading because they included short stories as well as novels, so the end of "The Dead" by James Joyce is rightfully included -

His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.

DFW, teacher

A former student of David Foster Wallace posted a class worksheet entitled, "IF NO ONE HAS YET TAUGHT YOU HOW TO AVOID OR REPAIR CLAUSES LIKE THE FOLLOWING, YOU SHOULD, IN MY OPINION, THINK SERIOUSLY ABOUT SUING SOMEBODY, PERHAPS AS CO-PLAINTIFF WITH WHOEVER’S PAID YOUR TUITION". I'm pretty sure I didn't get any right. The answers and explanations are here. Links to an article by David Foster Wallace in Harper's, and an old essay by George Orwell are included in the 2nd link.

I spent yesterday at Barnes & Noble reading through Zadie Smith's new book, Changing My Mind, and she closes her book with a fantastic essay on DFW. Highly recommended.

Fact of the day?

It can be argued that the purpose of hate crime laws is to punish not so much the act, but the thought, and are therefore thought crimes and dangerous to a free society.
-Actual (word for awkward word) true/false question from a quiz in my Police Process class. The closest my book comes to making a statement like that is, "Because motivation is subjective, it is often difficult for police officers to determine if an offense was motivated by bias." I'll let you guys guess what the correct answer is, but my own conclusion is that reading that sentence is a thought crime and dangerous to a free mind.

Pretend Harvard

Harvard has put up a series of their Justice Course on their website. The preview of the class below makes it look pretty interesting.



I have this inexplicable dislike of every student in the video, though. It's funny how low my self-esteem must be if all I can think of while watching those students applaud their professor and have debates in microphones is, "They think they're sooo much better than me. What dicks." But now I can watch these class videos and pretend I've sneaked into their class and destroy all their pretty conventions, like how I feel watching The Hills.

You Can Count On Me

The AV Club released their list of the best film performances in the 00's. I can't find anything to complain about. Some people might think using 2 spots to list both Laura Linney and Mark Ruffalo from You Can Count On Me is overkill, but not me, I love that movie, and I'm thankful the AV Club dug that up to remind me that I should watch it again.

And while I really enjoyed both Peter Sarsgaard as Charles Lane and the movie Shattered Glass, I have to admit that the character the AV Club describes Sarsgaard as playing, "a consummate professional who tries to protect his reporter and the integrity of the magazine while digging into painful truths that will severely undermine both", bears little to the Charles Lane currently publishing articles claiming that poor Americans don't go hungry because there is so many fat people -

Again, if Lane had read the study that he is so busy dismissing, he might have noticed that there is a connection between obesity and food security. Indeed, two of the questions in the food security survey focus on the inability of respondents to buy balanced meals. More on the connection between poverty, nutritious foods and obesity can be found here. People who have little money to spend on food aren’t able to buy nutritious foods, both because such foods are more expensive and because poor people often live miles from grocery stores, meaning that they have to buy most of their food in convenience stores where only three food groups are featured — soda, candy bars and snacks.

So, Mr. Lane, scoff all you will at people who are poor and fat. Prop that up in your own feeble mind as a justification for ignoring issues of food security, hunger and nutritional health among the poor. And, please, sir, go ahead and have a second helping of everything on Thanksgiving. Have another glass of that $60 bottle of Merlot. After all, you deserve it for all your hard work.

From Sadly, No!

Fact of the day

Via Sullivan