I borrowed "Baseball Laughs" by Herman L. Masin from Jolene this weekend and, since baseball season is almost upon us, will be copying down one joke a day until I run out. There's a bunch so I hope it lasts through the season. These are, bar none, the most insane, non-sensical collection of jokes I've ever come across, but that's not saying much.
The description on the back of the book -
Maybe you can't tell the players without a scorecard, but you can tell the funniest stories ever to come out of a horsehide. You'll find them all in this collection of screaming line drives. Everybody - fans, frogmen, and bird watchers - will get a chuckle out of this prime assortment of screwballs, knuckleheads, and dipsy-doodles.
It took me a minute to translate that, but I think what it means is that it is awesome.
Let's begin -
Have A Ball!
Basically baseball is a duel in the sun, fought with horsehides and hickory at sixty feet, six inches. It's a grim, serious business. But funny things to happen. Almost every dugout has its share of characters - odd balls with bats in their belfries - who'll often come up with line drives funnier than anything on the Bob Hope Show.
Joe's Strange Kirke
Jay Kirke was a fabulous screwball whom Joe McCarthy managed at Louisville. One afternoon Kirke muffed a signal which cost Louisville the game. McCarthy, livid with rage, told Kirke to meet him in the clubhouse after the game.
McCarthy paced the floor savagely. He waited and waited, but Kirke didn't appear. The longer Joe paced, the more furious he became. Most of the players were dressed when the door opened. There stood Kirke - and a priest.
"Come in, Father," said Jay. "I want you to meet my friends."
*rimshot*
Tight?
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