Favre as Robert E. Lee

Fact: Like Favre, Robert E. Lee was also known for having fun on the field

Thomas P.M. Barrett writes an article for Esquire comparing this Sunday's Packers/Vikings game to a hypothetical Civil War scenario casting Brett Favre as Robert E. Lee, the Packers as Confederates, and Aaron Rodgers as, I guess?, Stonewall Jackson (but Stonewall died before he was able to replace Lee and demonstrate his better pocket mobility and ability to control throwing back-breaking interceptions late in games). Here. My devotion to the Packers outweighs any discomfort of being analogized to the less-than-sympathetic confederacy. Let the Union lose if that goddamned turncoat Brett Favre is gonna be their general.

So imagine this: At the kickoff to the Fall 1863 campaign, Lee suddenly announces that he's coming out of retirement... and signed with Lincoln's Union Army! Declaring that he has at least one or two more campaigns in him, Lee proclaims that this is nothing personal and that he simply wants to end his military career on a high note, playing for a team with a better chance at near-term victory. Yes, he'll always be a Confederate at heart, but since his wife and children are more than supportive, why not just give it one more go? As for his many admirers in the South who feel a deep sense of betrayal, Lee offers this terse response: "If they don't want me to win in a blue uniform, then they never believed me in the first place."