Ideas for the commune

Paging John Beck. I know that without the Orbitz gig we all may have to wait a bit longer for you to buy the huge lot of land for us to start our commune life, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't start making a checklist of ideas to implement into our lifestyles.

It seems to me that the best way to instantly raise your standard of living is to live in the past. If you subsist entirely on two-year-old entertainment, and the corresponding two-year-old technology used to power it, you’re cutting your fun budget in half, freeing up that money for more exciting expenditures like parking meters and postage....

That’s why I’m going to start my own cult. A counter-cult, if you will, but not a cult actually involved with counters like you’d see at Home Depot. My cult will be called the Cult of the Somewhat Delayed, and like all good cults we will shun contact with outsiders. I’ll probably also get some chanting going — I like chanting.

The main purpose of the cult will be to allow us to enjoy two-year-old entertainment and technology without being corrupted by the heathen new-havers. In order to remain blissfully ignorant of spoilers and shiny new temptations, we will constantly live as if it were two years in the past.